現象

每次在這裏寫一些帶點沉痛味兒的文章，總是零回應。
這是個很有趣的現象。

會看這個blog的人，大部份都知道我的家庭背景。
不回應，為什麼呢？

唔....呢d家事... 唔知會唔會講錯野，hurt到佢ga ma。
又唔知佢會唔會唔想提起，唔開心呢...
咁我同佢又唔係咁熟... 講出黎餞dead air~~
如果我挑起佢d傷心事，佢真係喊起黎對住我訴苦，我都唔知點應佢... 最怕見到人喊ga la~~
唔係唔想關心佢，之不過人地既事無謂八，知道佢唔開心咪算lor，hei，呢d野唔到我o地理既...~

等等等等...

我 有一班感情很好的朋友。去年年初，我們慢慢開始發現這班朋友中間有一位的網上日記愈寫愈灰暗。他與我們相處的時候仍然是談笑風生，甚至比一般人更懂搞 笑，但他的日記卻是愈來愈灰沉，很多很多不快樂的情緒，將近放棄的態度，反映在字裏行間。當然，我們一班朋友都很擔心。於是，大家趁他不在的時候——

喂佢成日咁既樣唔掂個bor...
係啦佢成日扮到冇事咁樣，但係日記寫得咁恐怖...
佢咁cool，點敢問佢喎，我怕佢會覺得我膚淺呀
佢同我地一齊真係完全冇野咁ga~~~
就係咁先驚！佢個樣愈冇野，我地愈唔知佢唸咩
咁點算呀...??
但係點開聲問佢wor~~
佢扮到冇事咁樣，會唔會唔想人問佢ga...

如此這般的討論，可以一直持續10-15分鐘，直到大家講無可講，講黎講去都冇哂新意，才作罷。


「喂，你係咪唔開心？」-->真的這麼難說嗎？

這七個字有什麼問題？

很有問題！說這七個字帶有很大風險，所以我們這麼關心他，我們會在他背後不停討論，我們會經常追看他的網上日記以確保知道他的最新情況，就是不會當面問他！

還不明白嗎？
我 白說了！看見別人的痛苦的時候，我們的心感受到沉重的壓力，我們覺得不舒服，心裏不好過。如果要直接了當的走去問一句「喂，你係咪唔開心呀？」，我們便 可能要面對更多沉重的情緒，心情拉得更低。那種壓力令我們窒息，令我們不知所措，令我們想逃離這種環境。但是，如果我們完全不聞不問的話，又好像顯得我們 很自私，我們也想找一個渠道關心一下這個朋友，於是，我們便在當事人背後互相討論，直到大家都能把心中的憂慮發洩出來，互相幫助大家發現「我們已經做到最 好的了」，然後一同消除心中的罪惡感，再互相認可對方仍是很有愛心的人，並享受隨之而來的平安為止。
還不明白嗎？

「喂，你係咪唔 開心？」這七個字並不難說，我們對負面情緒的一味逃避和過份恐懼才是問題所在。坦白說有誰沒有嘗過失落痛苦的滋味？我們都是流過淚的人。流 過淚的人要了解流淚者的心情有什麼難度？我們的死症在於不斷逃避，死不面對；連別人的痛苦也要急急腳避開。其實，將心比己就是了。痛苦者也只是一個人，和 你有著同樣的情緒，只是期待關心與支持而已！

「喂，你係咪唔開心？」溫柔而勇敢地說出來吧！


p.s. Patrick: 我返到宿舍，睇返個日記先記得你講邊篇日記，所以講電話既時候有d牛頭唔搭馬嘴。sorry，謝謝你既電話ar~

Munich

Back from MUNICH.
Took at least an hour's walk back to hostel to relieve the acute emotional burden. Not to mention the long term effects.
I cried at the end of the show. The story wasn't particularly touching or something, I just felt the burden and cried for it.

Maybe I'm too perfectionistic. MUNICH is more tiring then thought-inspiring to me.
I understand how tired I am through my reactions.
Helplessness.

Are all award-wining movies tiring in the sense that they carry some sort of social and humanic responsibility?
... Movies are terrific ways to communicate to people, different kinds of people, including some very indifferent ones; that's pretty sure.

Thought of the recent dispute arising from those comics published by multiple European newspapers. I wonder how many HKers have seen them? (You may click on the above link if you want to have a look.) That would be pretty nice an afterthought after this movie.

齊人之福

昨天洗澡的時候，忽然冒出了個古怪念頭。
我在想像我結婚的安排。

一般在教堂裏舉行的婚禮，新娘都是由父親陪伴走上紅地毯的，然後父親會把新娘的手交給新郎，以示交託之意。
我的古怪念頭，便是邀請父親和母親二位，一左一右的陪伴我走上紅地毯，然後他們各自把我的左和右手交給我未來丈夫，他則會用兩只手接著我。

然後，在緍禮完成後，我會告訴大家，因為我希望享受一下齊人之福，所以有這個特別安排。

我相信，用這個原因向父母作出要求，他們不可能推辭吧。

就算

就算我是病態，需要的也只是容忍與扶持......

MasaMania

Today I woke up feeling extremely tired. Out of curiosity, I typed the word "tired" in my google search bar and see what it goes. I'm lead to a site showing how tired Japanese businessmen are. This is certainly a GOOD LAUGH and a GOOD THOUGHT!! I love it!!

Then I discovered the host of those tired Japanese businessman photos. It's a site called MasaMania Moral Entertainment. I went more and more excited when I browse through the pages~~ This is kind of a blog-style photo diary, updated irregularly but frequently, featuring snapshots of different aspects of the country Japan, along with commentries from the photographer. You cannot find most of their featuring topics in any mainstream medias, both locally in Japan and internationally. My personal feeling: these are bold and wild photographers who have a deep mind and a good sense of humour. I declare: I have no relationship with them in any form ga~~ I just love their content and their presentation. I recommend everybody to visit their site!!

Thanks

Thanks everybody.
I'm enjoying my journey, that's for sure.

Enjoyed my Valentine's weekend by making cheese cakes with Terence. We have made our own chocolate cheese cake for the upcoming Valentine's day, two big round grape cheese cakes for Ted's work colleagues and my classmates (firm 2 and friends), as well as another chocolate cheese cake for our own family members.

It is so nice and sweet to enjoy our time with our loved ones.
(Btw, the automated mixer is such a marvellous invention!!!)

Anyway, I've been enjoying my journey. Thanks everybody.

悶?

實在悶得發瘋，於是開啟Firefox，玩我最喜歡的白撞domain遊戲。

以往我撞過的domain有：
www.love.com
www.laugh.com
www.kiss.com
www.dogs.com
等等..

今次，我在firefox中打入：www.soboring.com
因為我真的 so boring。
我期待著一些網上解悶的遊戲、趣事等，什麼無聊的東西也行。

結果，這是一個unregistered domain，firefox把我帶到售賣這個domain的網站。

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吓………十隻烏鴉飛過……成頭都係汗……

或者，我真係悶到變白痴……原來「悶」係咁解既……汗……

車禍？人禍？

看近來埃及車禍新聞，感覺如下：
1. 香港人那種「同情心」又來了。和南亞海潚的情況一樣，每天死著的早已成為習慣，很偶然才死一個的整天掛在口邊大做新聞。人命從來都不等值，價值由報紙的版面大小富予。
2. 還那孩子一點空間吧。她經已失去了家庭。大顆兒這樣環繞著她，努力地幫她放大她的傷痛，努力地告訴她她是世界上最特別、最慘的那一位；於是報紙有了頭條，香港人有了話題；孩子不知何時才可以休息，孩子的傷痛不知何時才可以醫治。

以下是Chris, 一個當兼職導遊的朋友的感受（電郵節錄，很值得看）：

...Yes, on one hand, I really want this kind of tragedy never happen again. And I cannot remember the report on the TV, in which one of the victim said "I watch a few travel bus passed by, they are the Hong Kong people. If they help simply by pushing the car, it could saves lots of victim. But they just passed by. Why, why the Hong Kong people are so cold-blooded!!!"...

...I started to dislike the people who travel for fun.

I dislike even more. Why the 團友 are interested only in giving the least money for the best service, why they just want to enjoy the trip, why don't they care the Chinese people when they go to China? Why they can continue to be irresponsible to China and I, being a escort had to help them to enjoy? Help them to neglect all the poor people in China? Why I have to tell the beggar to go away from my 團友 during the trip? Why I have to make the 團友 to feel comfortable when they was sad (because the food was not good enough or the hostel is not big enough) while lots of people in China had nothing to eat and even nowhere tosleep? Why?

Was the accident, somehow, (let me be cruel to say) be fair at some certain extents? (Is it my 軟弱?)